Change is a fundamental part of the human experience. We all face it every day. We are constantly growing and evolving, but we still get caught off guard when something unexpected happens. For parents, the unexpected is usually the norm. You aren’t usually given time to plan and prepare ahead of having a child. For Daniel and I, the road to adoption dictates that we take our time and have a plan and are well prepared to become fathers.
The words “well prepared” seem to be kind of an oxymoron though. How can one really be completely prepared for the responsibility of raising a child? We are taking carefully planned steps towards adoption and we recently moved from our cozy condo to a new home in a nearby neighborhood in order to make room for a nursery when the time comes. However, no matter the preparation, I can’t help feel a sense of worry and fear of what is to come. Our lives are going to completely change. Will we be ready to juggle parenthood and marriage, our jobs and friendships, and our individual selves?
We are lovers of good music and I have always been a regular concert attendee. It was one of the first things we bonded over when we met and a large component of our relationship has been built around these wonderful experiences of sharing live music together. We recently had the opportunity to travel to Atlanta to see the incredible group Mutemath in concert and during our flight, I started thinking about the possibility that we wouldn’t be able to enjoy experiences like this once we become parents. That we would need to stay home, be responsible, and live quiet family lives.
When we arrived at the venue, it was a cold and rainy afternoon in midtown Atlanta. Darren King, the drummer of Mutemath happened to pop his head out the front door and chat with us for a moment. He kindly offered to let us wait out the time before the show indoors, in the dry and comfortable bar area while the band and their families spent some down time before sound check. All four of the members of the group are married and three of them have children. It was a wonder to see their girls running around and enjoying some time with their fathers before they went to “work”. Darren and fellow band mate Todd even had a rousing game of “kick-the-soda-bottle” with the kids. It was inspiring to watch. These artists that I have long admired for their musical genius have spent many hard years on the road, away from their families and friends, doing what they love. Literally living the dream. And yet, they have found ways to make it all work. They have made time to be fathers despite all the adversity that comes with being a musician these days and you can tell that is something that definitely comes first in their lives. It hit me that our lives are about to change, but in the best way possible. You have more opportunity to share your passions with people you love. To raise little artists and dreamers of your own.
When someone is afraid of heights, they are usually told to keep their eyes focused straight ahead because when you look beyond what you fear, it doesn’t get to take a hold of you. We are safe if we don’t look down. It’s normal to be afraid of change, but it can be extraordinary when you embrace it. Hand in hand, We are making the most of the time we have to be prepared and learning to accept that life will throw you curve balls. We intend to make the most of it.
Please take a moment to share our story and help connect us with a birthmother. If you would like to hear the music that served as my inspiration, please see the link below.